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Kite Kid Mama

Kite Kid Mama

Rising above the obstacles of giftedness

How educators can leverage their distance-teaching skills during School Breaks
educators

School Break side job: virtual teaching

May 26, 2020
What has Leah Kuypers learned since publishing her top-selling curriculum? Watch her live-stream presentation for best practices & common misconceptions.
clinicians, educators, parents

Zones of Regulation creator Leah Kuypers to share best practices June 26

May 8, 2020
clinicians, educators, parents

Why we should never forget the emotions that accompanied COVID-19

Apr 23, 2020
Free webinars that take social-emotional learning (SEL) to the the next level
clinicians, educators, parents

Take social-emotional learning to the next level

Apr 8, 2020
Ways to express all of our COVID19-related emotions
clinicians, educators, parents

Ways to express all of our COVID19-related emotions

Apr 3, 2020
online learning for bright and quirky kids
parents

Online learning for bright & quirky kids

Apr 1, 2020

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Meet Patti

Meet Patti

Thanks for stopping by. I created this site after learning why my son had been bullied & excluded since age five. It took three years to find out โ€“ mostly because of long-standing myths. That's far too long, so now I'm on a mission to help others. I explain what "the G word" is &, just as important, what it isn't. With the help of many experts, you'll also see tips for navigating this type of neurodiversity. Join me as I share what I'm learning.


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The @airbnb we're staying in has lots of books. My The @airbnb we're staying in has lots of books. My daughter saw this one that I'd pulled off a shelf and decided she should read it because she's going through a "stressful move." ๐Ÿ˜‰ โฃ . โฃ As my kids would say, after watching A Series of Unfortunate Events, ๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ ๐˜”๐˜ฐ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜”๐˜บ ๐˜Š๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ? is about a figurative move. ๐Ÿง€ โฃ However, right now, we're experiencing a ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ข๐˜ญ move. ๐Ÿก
Last fall, I began to realize ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐˜ Last fall, I began to realize ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐˜€ ๐—ด๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—น๐˜† ๐˜„๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ด. My son, who was nine at the time, began exhibiting over-the-top jokester behavior and an unusually intense need for his favorite stuffed animal. And despite how fast my boy can move when he's running late, he also began to "miss" the bus. ๐ŸšŒ โฃ . โฃ In addition, he had a horrible nightmare one evening and some of ๐—ต๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ท๐—ผ๐—ธ๐—ฒ๐˜€ began to have ๐˜€๐˜‚๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐—ถ๐—ฑ๐—ฎ๐—น ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ๐˜€. I wasnโ€™t sure where heโ€™d heard the word โ€œsuicide,โ€ but considering he began using it at the same time I saw his anxiety spike, all of my alarm bells began going off. ๐Ÿ˜จ โฃ . โฃ But no matter what question I asked, or how delicately I asked it, my kiddo ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐—ฒ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜†๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐˜€ "๐—ณ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฒ." I knew it wasn't, but I had nothing else to go on, even after talking with his teachers. ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿซ โฃ . โฃ Two weeks later, he finally spilled the beans after a neighbor began ๐—ฝ๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ต๐—ถ๐—บ. (The kid changed the rules of Four Square so he could justify this behavior. "๐—ช๐—ฒ ๐—ด๐—ฒ๐˜ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐—ต๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐˜€," he said.) As it turned out, the boy had been ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐—น๐—น๐˜†๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ต๐—ถ๐—บ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ธ๐˜€. Mocking him, stealing his bike, and even punching him in the face. ๐Ÿ‘Š โฃ . โฃ At the same time this was happening, @mindmatterspodcastโฃ was releasing a three-part series on ๐˜€๐˜‚๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐—ถ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—บ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ด โ€œ๐—ด๐—ถ๐—ณ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฑโ€ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ 2๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ถ๐—น๐—ฑ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ป. The insights were so helpful. Bullying is one reason for suicide, of course; however, there are other factors as well, such as perfectionism and the incredible pressure these kids feel to reach their โ€œpotential.โ€ All three episodes are informative and thought provoking. If youโ€™re a teacher or school counselor, I think youโ€™ll especially like Part 2 (episode 40). It features a great interview with blogger, ๐˜—๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ง๐˜ฆ๐˜ค๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ช๐˜ด๐˜ฎ author and @teacherspayteachers creator Lisa Van Gemert (also known as Gifted Guru). ๐ŸŽ™ โฃ .โฃ I strongly recommend listening to these Mind Matters episodes during your commute, while you're exercising or whenever you have time. I can tell you from personal experience, they are powerful. ๐Ÿ™Œ
The night before our kids started their new school The night before our kids started their new school, we took them out for comfort food. For my 10-year-old, that means a bacon cheeseburger. ๐Ÿ” . He likes to order off the adult menu now; however, this particular burger was too big to fit in his mouth. Whenever this happens to me, I squish the top and bottom together to compress it. ๐Ÿค๐Ÿผ . Being the divergent thinker that he is, this was my sonโ€™s solution. ๐Ÿ“Œ . I had no idea what he was doing at first, but then I realized the bun really did look deflated. And he said it helped. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ . Proof, I guess, that thereโ€™s usually more than one way to solve a problem. ๐Ÿ˜‚
My parenting journey has been much different than My parenting journey has been much different than I imagined. I wouldn't change it, though. ๐Ÿ˜ โฃ . โฃ Not only am I learning about various types of neurodiversity, I'm listening, more closely than ever, to a diverse range of voices. Many of these individuals' experiences are different than mine. And most of them work in different fields than me. However, we also have plenty in common. ๐Ÿค โฃ . โฃ We care deeply about children's well being, including their mental health. We also don't like to see kids marginalized simply for being themselves. ๐Ÿ™… โฃ . โฃ I also am learning that, although adults can teach children about many subjects and life lessons, we can learn an awful lot from them, too. ๐Ÿ˜Š โฃ . โฃ As we head into this new week, let's assume less, listen more and try to understand people right where they are. ๐Ÿค—
The first part of our relocation is done. ๐Ÿ™Œ On The first part of our relocation is done. ๐Ÿ™Œ One thing I won't miss about my old neighborhood is a gossipy couple who was committed to misunderstanding me. Things were friendly between us the first two years that they lived on my street; however, their son often belittled and excluded my son. When I learned this was happening, I tried to talk with the boyโ€™s parents about it in a respectful way. That usually helped temporarily. โฃ . โฃ However, two summers ago, after my son was rejected once more โ€“ and totally inconsolable โ€“ I realized I could no longer walk on eggshells, even if it changed the dynamics on our street forever. I told them, as nicely as I could, that if their son couldnโ€™t be kind, he was no longer welcome at our house. That my son deserved to feel emotionally safe in his own home. โฃ . โฃ Things went downhill from there. The couple no longer wavedโฃ or spoke to me unless other neighbors were present, even when I tried to initiate it. I wasnโ€™t totally surprised, but what did shock me was when the mom got a new Jeep and gave all of the kids โ€œridesโ€ in it with the top down. All of them except mine, that is. My son told me how she invited every kid by name except him, even the boy standing right next to him. โฃ . โฃ Many families with a โ€œkite kidโ€ experience challengingโฃ dynamics with neighbors. People may not understand why these children seem different. And if you dare to utter the G word, theyโ€™ll assume youโ€™re trying to brag. โฃ . โฃ This must change. Itโ€™s time to learn what โ€œgiftednessโ€ reallyโฃ means and that itโ€™s simply one of many types of neurodiversity. It doesnโ€™t make โ€œgiftedโ€ kids any better than their peers. It simply means that they experience โ€“ and process โ€“ the world differently. And this goes way beyond academics. It can include sensory experiences, emotional experiences and more. Society focuses on the academic benefits, but other aspects of giftedness can be challenging and isolating.
In the words of Dory, "Just keep swimming." ๐Ÿ  In the words of Dory, "Just keep swimming." ๐Ÿ 
Being "different" is ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ easy. Wh Being "different" is ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ easy. When a child is neurodiverse, he will see โ€“ and experience โ€“ the world through a different lens. ๐Ÿ”ญ And peers will have difficulty relating to him. ๐Ÿคจ โฃ . โฃ That can make kids with higher-than-average IQs a target. And even when they aren't bullied, constantly feeling like an outsider can put them at risk for anxiety disorders and/or clinical depression. ๐Ÿ˜“ โฃ . โฃ Like any type of differently-wired kiddo, this type of "brain wiring" doesnโ€™t simply affect a student's ability to learn, it impacts the whole child. ๐Ÿง’ And some of the ways that it does can be difficult to navigate โ€“ for the kids themselves as well as the adults trying to guide them. ๐Ÿ—บ
Truth. Truth.
My daughter falls in the smart, but scattered camp My daughter falls in the smart, but scattered camp. Her teacher and I have been having some conversations about it and she's been coaching her at school. In addition to helping her make Post-It Note reminders for herself, she asked my daughter to make a few reminders for her! ๐Ÿ˜‚ โฃ . โฃ I'm kind of smart, but scattered myself, so I ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜บ appreciate this support. ๐Ÿ˜… Her teacher also has worked miracles with my daughter's math anxiety. In just 2-3 weeks, my child went from "box breathing" during math homework (which I told her about) to saying, "Math was my worst subject, but now, it's my best subject." Um, what?!? ๐Ÿคฏ โฃ . โฃ It's ๐˜ข๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ how much of an influence a teacher can have not only on students' academic progress, but their self esteem. It also is incredible how powerful ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜-๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—บ๐˜„๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ธ can be. When we approach these relationships with mutual respect and collaborative hearts, ๐˜ข๐˜ฎ๐˜ข๐˜ป๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ things can happen. โœจ โฃ . โฃ I also love that my daughter's teacher voluntarily shared some wonderful traits that she has witnessed. ๐Ÿ’• I'm always pleased to see my kids do well academically, but being kind and cheering on classmates makes me even prouder. ๐Ÿ˜Š
Anyone else need to get in the right mindset for t Anyone else need to get in the right mindset for the week ahead? ๐Ÿ˜‰ โฃ . โฃ This quote reminds me of that saying about how it wonโ€™t be easy, but it will be worth it. ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿผ
๐˜•๐˜ ๐˜› ๐˜—๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜•๐˜ ๐˜› ๐˜—๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ran a good article about ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐˜๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—บ๐˜‚๐˜๐—ถ๐˜€๐—บ earlier this week called Sometimes Itโ€™s Not Just Shyness. ๐Ÿ—ž โฃ . โฃ If you arenโ€™t familiar with this condition, itโ€™s one of many ways in which a childโ€™s behavior can be misunderstood. ๐Ÿค” As the article (and many comments on it) explain, selective mutism is ๐˜ฎ๐˜ถ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ more than taking a few hours or days to warm up to people. And trying to get a kid to โ€œsnap out of itโ€ or โ€œpull themselves up by their bootstrapsโ€ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—บ ๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ฝ. ๐Ÿ™… โฃ . โฃ I would add that there are ๐˜ƒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜€ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐˜๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—บ๐˜‚๐˜๐—ถ๐˜€๐—บ, too. As a child, ๐— ๐—ฎ๐˜†๐—ฎ ๐—”๐—ป๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ผ๐˜‚ became mute for several years after being raped. ๐Ÿ˜ฅ And ๐—š๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜๐—ฎ ๐—ง๐—ต๐˜‚๐—ป๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ด stopped speaking because of her deep concerns about the environment. It terrified her mom, but Gretaโ€™s selective mutism was intertwined with ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ถ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜๐—ถ๐—ฎ๐—น ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฝ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป โ€“ another complicated and misunderstood condition. ๐Ÿ˜ฃ โฃ . โฃ When selective mutism develops, kids are ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฟ๐˜‚๐—ด๐—ด๐—น๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ฎ ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ฝโฃ ๐—น๐—ฒ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—น and need help from a professional who has considerable experience with the condition. โœ… If the child has higher-than-average intelligence, I would also argue that the professional should be well versed in โ€œgiftedโ€ children โ€“ or, as I call them, kite kids โ€“ because intensities (a.k.a. overexcitabilities) and asynchronous development may be factors, as well. โœ…โœ… โฃ . โฃ If youโ€™d like to read the @nytparenting article, Iโ€™ll temporarilyโฃ link to it in my bio. ๐Ÿ–ฑ
My 8-year-old has been out of school all week due My 8-year-old has been out of school all week due a head coldโฃ. ๐Ÿคง I finally got her COVID-19 test results this morning, and a note from the pediatrician stating she tested negative for it. ๐Ÿ™Œ (I knew she didn't have it, and the doctor did too, but we needed test results to confirm it.) ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ”ฌ โฃ . โฃ As the assistant principal walked up to our SUV at drop-off this morning, she looked in the window and exclaimed, โ€œThere she is! We missed you, girl!โ€ ๐Ÿ˜Š โฃ . โฃ Isnโ€™t awesome that an assistant principal would even knowโฃ that a student had been out sick most of the week? ๐Ÿค— โฃ . โฃ Thank you, teachers, administrators and all school staff, for the amazing work youโ€™re doing. ๐Ÿ˜˜
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