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Kite Kid Mama

Kite Kid Mama

Rising above the obstacles of giftedness

clinicians, educators, parents

Possible clues I missed

Jan 17, 2019
educators, parents

Why my child was the class clown, even though kids didn’t “get” his humor

Jan 17, 2019
clinicians, educators, parents

“Peer” can have various meanings, especially for kite kids

Jan 17, 2019
clinicians, educators, parents

Out of nowhere, and yet, everywhere

Jan 17, 2019

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Meet Patti

Meet Patti

Thanks for stopping by. I created this site after learning why my son had been bullied & excluded since age five. It took three years to find out – mostly because of long-standing myths. That's far too long, so now I'm on a mission to help others. I explain what "the G word" is &, just as important, what it isn't. With the help of many experts, you'll also see tips for navigating this type of neurodiversity. Join me as I share what I'm learning.


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The night before our kids started their new school The night before our kids started their new school, we took them out for comfort food. For my 10-year-old, that means a bacon cheeseburger. 🍔 . He likes to order off the adult menu now; however, this particular burger was too big to fit in his mouth. Whenever this happens to me, I squish the top and bottom together to compress it. 🤏🏼 . Being the divergent thinker that he is, this was my son’s solution. 📌 . I had no idea what he was doing at first, but then I realized the bun really did look deflated. And he said it helped. 🤷🏼‍♀️ . Proof, I guess, that there’s usually more than one way to solve a problem. 😂
My parenting journey has been much different than My parenting journey has been much different than I imagined. I wouldn't change it, though. 😏 ⁣ . ⁣ Not only am I learning about various types of neurodiversity, I'm listening, more closely than ever, to a diverse range of voices. Many of these individuals' experiences are different than mine. And most of them work in different fields than me. However, we also have plenty in common. 🤝 ⁣ . ⁣ We care deeply about children's well being, including their mental health. We also don't like to see kids marginalized simply for being themselves. 🙅 ⁣ . ⁣ I also am learning that, although adults can teach children about many subjects and life lessons, we can learn an awful lot from them, too. 😊 ⁣ . ⁣ As we head into this new week, let's assume less, listen more and try to understand people right where they are. 🤗
The first part of our relocation is done. 🙌 On The first part of our relocation is done. 🙌 One thing I won't miss about my old neighborhood is a gossipy couple who was committed to misunderstanding me. Things were friendly between us the first two years that they lived on my street; however, their son often belittled and excluded my son. When I learned this was happening, I tried to talk with the boy’s parents about it in a respectful way. That usually helped temporarily. ⁣ . ⁣ However, two summers ago, after my son was rejected once more – and totally inconsolable – I realized I could no longer walk on eggshells, even if it changed the dynamics on our street forever. I told them, as nicely as I could, that if their son couldn’t be kind, he was no longer welcome at our house. That my son deserved to feel emotionally safe in his own home. ⁣ . ⁣ Things went downhill from there. The couple no longer waved⁣ or spoke to me unless other neighbors were present, even when I tried to initiate it. I wasn’t totally surprised, but what did shock me was when the mom got a new Jeep and gave all of the kids “rides” in it with the top down. All of them except mine, that is. My son told me how she invited every kid by name except him, even the boy standing right next to him. ⁣ . ⁣ Many families with a “kite kid” experience challenging⁣ dynamics with neighbors. People may not understand why these children seem different. And if you dare to utter the G word, they’ll assume you’re trying to brag. ⁣ . ⁣ This must change. It’s time to learn what “giftedness” really⁣ means and that it’s simply one of many types of neurodiversity. It doesn’t make “gifted” kids any better than their peers. It simply means that they experience – and process – the world differently. And this goes way beyond academics. It can include sensory experiences, emotional experiences and more. Society focuses on the academic benefits, but other aspects of giftedness can be challenging and isolating.
In the words of Dory, "Just keep swimming." 🐠 In the words of Dory, "Just keep swimming." 🐠
Being "different" is 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 easy. Wh Being "different" is 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 easy. When a child is neurodiverse, he will see – and experience – the world through a different lens. 🔭 And peers will have difficulty relating to him. 🤨 ⁣ . ⁣ That can make kids with higher-than-average IQs a target. And even when they aren't bullied, constantly feeling like an outsider can put them at risk for anxiety disorders and/or clinical depression. 😓 ⁣ . ⁣ Like any type of differently-wired kiddo, this type of "brain wiring" doesn’t simply affect a student's ability to learn, it impacts the whole child. 🧒 And some of the ways that it does can be difficult to navigate – for the kids themselves as well as the adults trying to guide them. 🗺
Truth. Truth.
My daughter falls in the smart, but scattered camp My daughter falls in the smart, but scattered camp. Her teacher and I have been having some conversations about it and she's been coaching her at school. In addition to helping her make Post-It Note reminders for herself, she asked my daughter to make a few reminders for her! 😂 ⁣ . ⁣ I'm kind of smart, but scattered myself, so I 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 appreciate this support. 😅 Her teacher also has worked miracles with my daughter's math anxiety. In just 2-3 weeks, my child went from "box breathing" during math homework (which I told her about) to saying, "Math was my worst subject, but now, it's my best subject." Um, what?!? 🤯 ⁣ . ⁣ It's 𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 how much of an influence a teacher can have not only on students' academic progress, but their self esteem. It also is incredible how powerful 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁-𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 can be. When we approach these relationships with mutual respect and collaborative hearts, 𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘻𝘪𝘯𝘨 things can happen. ✨ ⁣ . ⁣ I also love that my daughter's teacher voluntarily shared some wonderful traits that she has witnessed. 💕 I'm always pleased to see my kids do well academically, but being kind and cheering on classmates makes me even prouder. 😊
Anyone else need to get in the right mindset for t Anyone else need to get in the right mindset for the week ahead? 😉 ⁣ . ⁣ This quote reminds me of that saying about how it won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. 💪🏼
𝘕𝘠𝘛 𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘕𝘠𝘛 𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 ran a good article about 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝘂𝘁𝗶𝘀𝗺 earlier this week called Sometimes It’s Not Just Shyness. 🗞 ⁣ . ⁣ If you aren’t familiar with this condition, it’s one of many ways in which a child’s behavior can be misunderstood. 🤔 As the article (and many comments on it) explain, selective mutism is 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 more than taking a few hours or days to warm up to people. And trying to get a kid to “snap out of it” or “pull themselves up by their bootstraps” 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗺 𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽. 🙅 ⁣ . ⁣ I would add that there are 𝘃𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝘂𝘁𝗶𝘀𝗺, too. As a child, 𝗠𝗮𝘆𝗮 𝗔𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗹𝗼𝘂 became mute for several years after being raped. 😥 And 𝗚𝗿𝗲𝘁𝗮 𝗧𝗵𝘂𝗻𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗴 stopped speaking because of her deep concerns about the environment. It terrified her mom, but Greta’s selective mutism was intertwined with 𝗲𝘅𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗱𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 – another complicated and misunderstood condition. 😣 ⁣ . ⁣ When selective mutism develops, kids are 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗴𝗴𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝘁 𝗮 𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗽⁣ 𝗹𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹 and need help from a professional who has considerable experience with the condition. ✅ If the child has higher-than-average intelligence, I would also argue that the professional should be well versed in “gifted” children – or, as I call them, kite kids – because intensities (a.k.a. overexcitabilities) and asynchronous development may be factors, as well. ✅✅ ⁣ . ⁣ If you’d like to read the @nytparenting article, I’ll temporarily⁣ link to it in my bio. 🖱
My 8-year-old has been out of school all week due My 8-year-old has been out of school all week due a head cold⁣. 🤧 I finally got her COVID-19 test results this morning, and a note from the pediatrician stating she tested negative for it. 🙌 (I knew she didn't have it, and the doctor did too, but we needed test results to confirm it.) 👩‍🔬 ⁣ . ⁣ As the assistant principal walked up to our SUV at drop-off this morning, she looked in the window and exclaimed, “There she is! We missed you, girl!” 😊 ⁣ . ⁣ Isn’t awesome that an assistant principal would even know⁣ that a student had been out sick most of the week? 🤗 ⁣ . ⁣ Thank you, teachers, administrators and all school staff, for the amazing work you’re doing. 😘
So true! 😊 So true! 😊
It’s tough to limit kids’ screen time, especia It’s tough to limit kids’ screen time, especially in 2020. As schools pause for Fall Break, Thanksgiving Break and the winter holidays, it will become even more challenging. 😬 . Thankfully, @kiwico_inc offers great projects to nurture kids' creativity and curiosity. For example, with Kiwi’s Eureka Crate, children explore the engineering behind everyday objects, such as articulating desk lamps and electric pencil sharpeners, and the sound waves that musical instruments produce. 🎸 . The Doodle Crate exposes kids to various crafting tools and artistic techniques. 👩‍🎨 And with Kiwi Crate, they can make their own arcade claw game with pom-pom prizes. 😉 . The Atlas Crate is great, too, because it connects children creatively and intellectually with communities and customs beyond their own experience. 🤗 . When you purchase a subscription through my blog or IG account, you also can support my efforts to separate fact from fiction about a very misunderstood group of kiddos. And there's no extra cost to you. In fact, when you use the link in my bio to purchase a 6- or 12-month subscription, you can get your first month FREE. 🙌 Simply use code KIWI612 at check out. 🖱️ . (Promo available through Saturday, Oct. 3.) Happy making – and learning! 😊
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