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Kite Kid Mama

Kite Kid Mama

Rising above the obstacles of giftedness

educators, parents

Why my child was the class clown, even though kids didn’t “get” his humor

Jan 17, 2019
clinicians, educators, parents

“Peer” can have various meanings, especially for kite kids

Jan 17, 2019
clinicians, educators, parents

Out of nowhere, and yet, everywhere

Jan 17, 2019

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Meet Patti

Meet Patti

Thanks for stopping by. I created this site after learning why my son had been bullied & excluded since age five. It took three years to find out – mostly because of long-standing myths. That's far too long, so now I'm on a mission to help others. I explain what "the G word" is &, just as important, what it isn't. With the help of many experts, you'll also see tips for navigating this type of neurodiversity. Join me as I share what I'm learning.


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Remember the teacher I mentioned about a week ago? Remember the teacher I mentioned about a week ago? She told my son & his classmates on a recent Zoom call that she'd been sewing a lot lately. Now we know why. 😊 Pillowcases! The constellations on the fabric even glow. 🤩
I've been spending a lot of time trying to determi I've been spending a lot of time trying to determine which schools are most willing to partner with me as I try to teach my oldest child (who has social anxiety) how to self-regulate when he feels nervous or rejected. 🧒 This is essential because I've started to realize I have unknowingly been part of what regulates him. 😳 That's why I haven't seen the class clown antics his teachers & peers have witnessed. I've only seen the fallout, like watching kids ignore him when he tries to say "hello." 😥 For years, that confused me because, in those moments, he was calm. 🤔 But again...I was with him & apparently making him feel safer in a situation that (unbeknownst to his teachers, school counselor & me) didn't feel safe. 😮 . The "base zones" for these preferred schools I'm identifying come into play too, of course. 🏡 Where can we live that will be within the zone for not only his 5th grade year, but also the middle school that I hear does a great job with divergent thinkers like him? ❓❓❓ . Also, would the default elementary school be a good fit for my son if I can’t get him into the magnet elementary school I prefer? (Or my rising 3rd grader if that school doesn't have two openings)? 🤨 These are just a few, of many, questions tumbling around in my head. 😣 Parents of countless other 2e kids have grappled with similar scenarios, especially when paying for private school was never part of the plan. (Therapy appts & extracurricular activities, like robotics & coding, are expensive enough!) 💰 All of this has set off a wide range of emotions in me. And at times, I struggle to regulate myself! 😬 Perhaps I should meditate or take yoga. 🧘 Can any of you relate? 😅
A couple days ago, I said that we can have strong A couple days ago, I said that we can have strong opinions, but communicate them in a way that’s respectful & draws others in. 🤗 (Rather than shaming or belittling them, & ensuring there will never be the belief that you may have common ground.) 💥 . I have a caveat to that statement, though... There are 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 going to be individuals who don't want to hear a different perspective. 🙉 It doesn't matter 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 you say, or 𝘩𝘰𝘸 you say it, they don't even want to listen to your experiences or viewpoint. 🙅 . In my opinion, don't waste your breath on these folks. 🚫 We can spend every hour of every day trying to make our case, & nothing will change. 0️⃣ There are too many other individuals who 𝘢𝘳𝘦 open-minded, & 𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵 willing to listen. And by listen, I mean really listening (not crafting rebuttals while you're talking.) If you have something to say, focus your efforts on these folks. 🤝 . Oh, & if you're truly trying to create change (rather than connect with those who already believe you), don't spend too much time preaching to the choir, either. 😉
Truth. Truth.
We can have strong opinions, but communicate them We can have strong opinions, but communicate them in a way that’s respectful & that draws others in. 🤝 (Rather than demeaning them & ensuring they’ll never see – or even listen to – our point of view.) The sun & moon create a lot of energy through a combination of gravitational pull, & showing up day in & day out. 🌊 As @malcolmgladwell says in 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘛𝘪𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘗𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵, “If you want to bring a fundamental change in people's belief & behavior...create a community around them, where those new beliefs can be practiced & expressed & nurtured.” 🤗 . This can be difficult when we're angry or hurting, but it really is essential if we want to create lasting change that people agree with & support. 🏄 In fact, sometimes that's how we find our biggest cheerleaders. 😉
If you've been following me for a month or two, yo If you've been following me for a month or two, you may know my family will be relocating soon. 📦 The comment above is what my twice-exceptional (2e) fourth grader's gifted educator told me Friday. 😐 . This comes as no surprise to me. 2e kids are always hard to figure out because they're outside the norm in almost every way possible. 🤯 Intellectually, they have very high abilities; in other ways, they lag behind their peers – often significantly. And in most cases, only one side tends to stand out to people. 🤔 For my son, it's the area in which he struggles. It's so glaring that, even with crazy high STAR scores, no one suspected giftedness. 😥 . The lack of awareness around 2e kiddos must change. 🔍 If you're an educator or psychologist, & you want to know how to identify them, I highly recommend listening to Episode 44 of @mindmatterspodcast, featuring Megan Foley-Nicpon, PhD. 📻 It's a great conversation that explains the challenges, considerations & best practices for assessments. 🧐
My son’s homeroom teacher sent me this bookmark My son’s homeroom teacher sent me this bookmark for Mother’s Day. It was unexpected & so touching. 😭 . She may not have understood my twice-exceptional (2e) son’s needs in August, but she sure does now. 😬 You see, I didn’t want to be a helicopter parent 🚁 & I mistakenly assumed that she’d be informed of my son’s anxiety via his IEP, the school psychologist or his gifted educator. To say that things were a mess by September would be an understatement. 😣 (Largely because of bullying when adults weren’t looking.) 👊 . However, once I told my son's teachers about the distressing signs I was seeing at home, they saw my son’s behavior for what it really was, & we became a team that quickly changed things around (with the help of a few other key individuals). 🤝 I adore the teacher who sent me this bookmark &, more importantly, she adores my son. 💕 . General education teachers don’t need a special degree to better understand their “gifted” & 2e students. 👩‍🏫 Being familiar with these kids’ overexcitabilities, their asynchrony (sometimes in both directions, esp. if they’re 2e), & the interplay between these two phenomena, can go a long way — especially from a social-emotional perspective. 🛣️ Do they need to be challenged academically? Absolutely! 💯. Intellectual intensity one of the five overexcitabilities. However, because of the way these kids' brains are wired, they tend to be intense in other ways, too. 😅 . Thank you, educators, everywhere who never give up on trying to help their struggling & misunderstood students, regardless of what makes them “different.” 😘
Self-regulation, executive functions & social smar Self-regulation, executive functions & social smarts are intertwined. It’s difficult to talk about one without considering the others. 🤔 That’s why Leah Kuypers, M.Ed., includes elements of the Social Thinking Methodology® in her @zonesofregulation curriculum. And it’s the reason she’ll talk about best practices & common misconceptions @socialthinking's annual conference in June. 🤩 It’s also why other conference topics include: ~ 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗼𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗮𝗻𝗶𝘇𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 (via executive functions) 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗮𝗻𝗰𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀, with developmental behavioral pediatrician Damon Korb, M.D., FAAP 👨‍⚕️ ~ the 𝗿𝗼𝗹𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗲𝘅𝗲𝗰𝘂𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝗻𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 (such as self-regulation & perspective-taking) 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗿𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 & 𝗸𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀 🤗 ~ 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗦𝗼𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗲𝘀 at home & through tele-education 👩‍🏫 ~ 𝟱 𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲-𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 & 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗺-𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴: around the dinner table, in the car, during teaching time, in virtual groups, & with siblings 🙌 Continuing education (CE) credits will be available for those who qualify. ✅ For more details & how to register, read my story about Leah’s presentation. (link in bio) 🖱️
What has 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗵 𝗞𝘂𝘆𝗽𝗲𝗿 What has 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗵 𝗞𝘂𝘆𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀, 𝗠.𝗘𝗱., learned since publishing her top-selling curriculum? 🤷 A lot, actually! And she wants to tell you about it. 😊 ~ Watch her 𝗙𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗮𝘆, 𝗝𝘂𝗻𝗲 𝟮𝟲, 𝗸𝗲𝘆𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗲𝗰𝗵 for best practices & common misconceptions. It’s a live-stream event, so you'll also have the opportunity to ask her questions. 🎉 ~ For more details about Leah's speech & other presentation topics, read my story about the 𝗦𝗼𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀' 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲. (link in bio) 🖱️ ~ 𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜'𝗺 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴? 💕 ~ ➡ Tag a friend in the comments (or send it to her/him) ➡ Share this post as part of your Instagram story ➡ Follow me @kitekidmama
What makes kite kids "different" often feels like What makes kite kids "different" often feels like a burden. As I explained in my 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗲𝘅𝗰𝗶𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗲𝘀-𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁𝘀 last week, they may have: a stronger-than-normal sense of justice, heightened sensory experiences (good ones & bad ones), think more deeply about topics than their age peers, & more. 🤔 They also may be years ahead of their peers intellectually while, at the very same time, years behind when it comes to social-emotional skills and/or executive functions. (This is called asynchronous development.) ⚖️ ~ 𝗚𝗿𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘂𝗽 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗯𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗳𝘂𝗹 & 𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴. However, when we nurture these kids' strengths & help them get to adulthood with their self-esteem intact, the results can be groundbreaking. 🙌 In most cases, few people will hear about their accomplishments, aside from those in their industry of choice. In some instances, however, their impact will be far more noticeable to the public. 🌎 Being famous or reaching what someone else thinks is their "true potential" shouldn't be the goal, of course. 🙅 What matters most is finding: individuals who accept them 🤗 & opportunities to pursue their interests at a deep level. 🧐 In other words, true companionship & personal fulfillment. 💕 ~ 𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁? 😊 ➡ Tag a friend in the comments (or send it to her/him) ➡ Share this post as part of your Instagram story ➡ Follow me @kitekidmama
The majority of my experiences so far, as a mom, a The majority of my experiences so far, as a mom, are nothing like I anticipated. The struggles have been 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 different than I ever heard about or read in popular parenting books. 🤷‍♀️ (Who knew a kid could have social anxiety disorder by five or six years old, or "joke" about suicide before even reaching middle school?) 🤯 ~ I could not feel luckier, though, for the kids that God blessed me with. 💕 They both see the world through a different lens than most, & by learning about them, I’m finding out about aspects of my extended family that weren't even on my radar. I was totally oblivious! 😳 ~ I have a lot more to learn & process, but I’m getting there. I hope that what I share here is useful to you, too. 😘
The past week, I’ve been explaining 𝗶𝗻𝘁 The past week, I’ve been explaining 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗲𝘀 (𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗲𝘅𝗰𝗶𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗲𝘀) – a phenomenon present in all “G word” children. 🤔 Some of these kite kids, as I call them, have one type of OE; others have more, or even all five. 🔍 ~ The fifth & final one is imaginational intensity. Some children with this OE get so lost in make-believe that they lose all sense of time & their surroundings. 🕰️ They may even have trouble distinguishing fantasy from reality. 🦄 ~ Kids with this OE also may love music, drama & humor. This is 💯 my daughter. She sings 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 & in most cases, she makes up the lyrics as she goes. 🎵 She makes up songs about everything from the hilarities of taking a bath 🛀 or a “beautiful” drink she’s retrieving from the refrigerator (accompanied by exaggerated motions) 🥛 to the life cycle of butterflies, including how caterpillars eat all of the skin after they shed it! 🐛 There was even a verse about it being yummy. 😂 ~ As with all OEs, there can be challenges, too. Kiddos with the imaginational OE can be “too much” for some (or most) peers. They also may become so engrossed in imaginary play that they end up isolating themselves. To read more about the imaginational OE, including social considerations, see the link in my bio. 🖱️ ~ 𝗪𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽𝗳𝘂𝗹? 😊 ➡ Tag a friend in the comments (or send it to her/him) ➡ Share this post as part of your Instagram story ➡ Follow me @kitekidmamae
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