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Kite Kid Mama
Kite Kid Mama

Rising above the obstacles of giftedness

Gift ideas

parents

Tis the season for gift giving. If youโ€™d like ideas, here are some for the kids, their teachers and you. ๐Ÿ™‚

Ideas for teacher gifts
Dozens of ideas for teacher gifts
  • gifts for book lovers
Gifts for book lovers
Gifts for space enthusiasts
Gifts for space enthusiasts
Strategy games
Custom kits for the ultimate LEGO fan
Discount code: Black18 for 18% off (ends 12/26/19)
STEM toys & games
STEM toys, games & books
Harry Potter gift ideas
Gifts for Harry Potter fans
  • Star Wars room decor
  • Star Wars room decor
Star Wars room decor
Minecraft ore lamp
Minecraft room decor

pattias
Nov 9, 2019 by pattias
  • « Gift ideas for STEM-loving kids
  • Social considerations of imaginational intensity »
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  • the art of decorating with books The art of decorating with books

Meet Patti

Meet Patti

Thanks for stopping by. I created this site after learning why my son had been bullied & excluded since age five. It took three years to find out โ€“ mostly because of long-standing myths. That's far too long, so now I'm on a mission to help others. I explain what "the G word" is &, just as important, what it isn't. With the help of many experts, you'll also see tips for navigating this type of neurodiversity. Join me as I share what I'm learning.


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A few weeks ago, there was a story in @nytparentin A few weeks ago, there was a story in @nytparenting called Why is My Big Kid Acting Like a Toddler? ๐Ÿ˜ฃ It talked about how there's โ€œbacksliding on potty use, and more tantrums. Bedtime is really going off the rails.โ€ Yet another reminder of how much stress can impact kids. And there doesnโ€™t have to be a pandemic to set it off. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ ~ ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐˜† ๐˜„๐—ฒ ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—น ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€ ๐—ถ๐˜€๐—ปโ€™๐˜ ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฒ-๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜‡๐—ฒ-๐—ณ๐—ถ๐˜๐˜€-๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น. For my twice-exceptional kiddo, I began hearing a couple months into 1st grade that he was โ€œthe class clown.โ€ ๐Ÿ˜ณ It surprised me, as well as his former teachers, who I contacted to see if heโ€™d been that way in their classrooms & not told me. ~ Unbeknownst to all of us, my then-6-year-old was ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ท๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐—น๐—ฒ๐—ณ๐˜ & ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ด๐—ต๐˜ ๐—ฏ๐˜† ๐—ธ๐—ถ๐—ฑ๐˜€ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ผ ๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ฑ๐—ปโ€™๐˜ โ€œ๐—ด๐—ฒ๐˜โ€ ๐—ต๐—ถ๐—บ. This new persona was his attempt to fix that. ๐Ÿ› ๏ธ He thought "being funny" might win them overโ€ฆ ๐Ÿคช ~ My son wasnโ€™t like that at home, so I didnโ€™t fully understand what was going on. His teacher was hesitant to give me examples, because he was becoming more & more animated when that approach wasnโ€™t working, either. ๐Ÿ˜จ ~ We need to look at โ€œbadโ€ behaviors in a different way, & not assume that a child ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ด to be disrespectful, or defiant, or weird. ๐—ช๐—ต๐—ผ ๐˜„๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—น๐—ฑ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜? Thereโ€™s a good chance that ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜…๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐˜๐˜†, & it may be a โ€œ๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ฑ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ปโ€ ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ฟ. In my sonโ€™s case, he didnโ€™t feel safe around other kids. ๐Ÿ˜ฅ ~ Look beyond the behavior. ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคก๐Ÿ˜ฉ Put on your investigative hat & try to notice when & where the behaviors happen. And when & where they ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏโ€™๐˜ต happen. Whatโ€™s different? Lights? Noise level? Structure vs. no structure? Tasks that are too difficult? Tasks that are too easy & the kid loves challenges? It isnโ€™t always easy to discern, but we must look beyond the obvious. ๐Ÿ”
On Sunday, we attended a small, socially distanced On Sunday, we attended a small, socially distanced, bring-your-own-everything (BYOE) get-together. โœ”๏ธโœ”๏ธโœ”๏ธ Rain clouds moved through, at one point. Then rainbows followed! ๐Ÿ˜ (About 30 minutes before seeing the one, there was a more muted ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ฃ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ rainbow.) ๐ŸŒˆ ~ The beauty above made her appearance as I was talking with the woman across from me. It was practically sitting on her left shoulder saying, โ€œHey, pay attention!โ€ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ~ I know that when weโ€™re stressed, & longing for indicators that everything will be okay, weโ€™re more likely to see signs of hope. Or interpret normal occurrences as such. That may be the case with this particular wonder & Iโ€™m okay with that. ๐Ÿ˜Š Iโ€™ll take all the deliverers of calm & encouragement that come my way, as I navigate this relocation & school search process. ~ (no filter ๐Ÿ“ท)
One thing Iโ€™ve noticed over & over again is how One thing Iโ€™ve noticed over & over again is how difficult it is for adults to understand that, although my 9-year-old has the vocabulary & book smarts of a kid older than his age, emotionally, heโ€™s much younger than 9. ๐Ÿง’๐Ÿง His first therapist pointed this out to me, even though she wasnโ€™t aware of the hallmark traits of twice-exceptional (2e) children. ๐Ÿ” . When she met my son, he was just shy of 7, but she said he was โ€œ4, ๐˜ฎ๐˜ข๐˜บ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ 5, emotionally.โ€ She also said he was like Bill Gates or Rain Man. (She wasnโ€™t sure which, yet.) ๐Ÿค” So, she could ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ his extreme asynchrony, but she thought it was due to emotional trauma. That may have been true, to some extent, because he had been rejected by many peers. ๐Ÿ˜ฅ However, asynchronous development is a huge part of who kite kids are โ€“ ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ค๐˜ช๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜บ when theyโ€™re 2e. ๐Ÿคฏ . Sometimes I need to explain this to a teacher or another parent. On our last vacation, I had to remind another mom about this, who was speaking to my son in very a snippy way. (We rented a beach house together & she was getting frustrated with him.) Whatโ€™s interesting is that ๐˜ด๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ is the G word. ๐Ÿคฏ I know this because she's really bright, & a little quirky herself, so I asked her point blank one day. The G word clearly made her uncomfortable, but before quickly changing the topic, she did admit that, in school, she was several grades ahead in some subjects. ๐Ÿ“š . I mention that because a kite kidโ€™s asynchrony can be difficult to understand โ€“ & remember โ€“ especially when youโ€™re annoyed. ๐Ÿ˜  This is true if youโ€™re that childโ€™s mom, & it even applies if you were one of those kids yourself. Relationships are tough! And guiding children โ€“ even "gifted" kids โ€“ is tough too! ๐Ÿšธ Do your best, keep trying to improve, & apologize when you screw up. That's what I do. ๐Ÿ˜‰
Remember the teacher I mentioned about a week ago? Remember the teacher I mentioned about a week ago? She told my son & his classmates on a recent Zoom call that she'd been sewing a lot lately. Now we know why. ๐Ÿ˜Š Pillowcases! The constellations on the fabric even glow. ๐Ÿคฉ
I've been spending a lot of time trying to determi I've been spending a lot of time trying to determine which schools are most willing to partner with me as I try to teach my oldest child (who has social anxiety) how to self-regulate when he feels nervous or rejected. ๐Ÿง’ This is essential because I've started to realize I have unknowingly been part of what regulates him. ๐Ÿ˜ณ That's why I haven't seen the class clown antics his teachers & peers have witnessed. I've only seen the fallout, like watching kids ignore him when he tries to say "hello." ๐Ÿ˜ฅ For years, that confused me because, in those moments, he was calm. ๐Ÿค” But again...I was with him & apparently making him feel safer in a situation that (unbeknownst to his teachers, school counselor & me) didn't feel safe. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ . The "base zones" for these preferred schools I'm identifying come into play too, of course. ๐Ÿก Where can we live that will be within the zone for not only his 5th grade year, but also the middle school that I hear does a great job with divergent thinkers like him? โ“โ“โ“ . Also, would the default elementary school be a good fit for my son if I canโ€™t get him into the magnet elementary school I prefer? (Or my rising 3rd grader if that school doesn't have two openings)? ๐Ÿคจ These are just a few, of many, questions tumbling around in my head. ๐Ÿ˜ฃ Parents of countless other 2e kids have grappled with similar scenarios, especially when paying for private school was never part of the plan. (Therapy appts & extracurricular activities, like robotics & coding, are expensive enough!) ๐Ÿ’ฐ All of this has set off a wide range of emotions in me. And at times, I struggle to regulate myself! ๐Ÿ˜ฌ Perhaps I should meditate or take yoga. ๐Ÿง˜ Can any of you relate? ๐Ÿ˜…
A couple days ago, I said that we can have strong A couple days ago, I said that we can have strong opinions, but communicate them in a way thatโ€™s respectful & draws others in. ๐Ÿค— (Rather than shaming or belittling them, & ensuring there will never be the belief that you may have common ground.) ๐Ÿ’ฅ . I have a caveat to that statement, though... There are ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜บ๐˜ด going to be individuals who don't want to hear a different perspective. ๐Ÿ™‰ It doesn't matter ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต you say, or ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ you say it, they don't even want to listen to your experiences or viewpoint. ๐Ÿ™… . In my opinion, don't waste your breath on these folks. ๐Ÿšซ We can spend every hour of every day trying to make our case, & nothing will change. 0๏ธโƒฃ There are too many other individuals who ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ open-minded, & ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ด๐˜ต willing to listen. And by listen, I mean really listening (not crafting rebuttals while you're talking.) If you have something to say, focus your efforts on these folks. ๐Ÿค . Oh, & if you're truly trying to create change (rather than connect with those who already believe you), don't spend too much time preaching to the choir, either. ๐Ÿ˜‰
Truth. Truth.
We can have strong opinions, but communicate them We can have strong opinions, but communicate them in a way thatโ€™s respectful & that draws others in. ๐Ÿค (Rather than demeaning them & ensuring theyโ€™ll never see โ€“ or even listen to โ€“ our point of view.) The sun & moon create a lot of energy through a combination of gravitational pull, & showing up day in & day out. ๐ŸŒŠ As @malcolmgladwell says in ๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜›๐˜ช๐˜ฑ๐˜ฑ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜—๐˜ฐ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ต, โ€œIf you want to bring a fundamental change in people's belief & behavior...create a community around them, where those new beliefs can be practiced & expressed & nurtured.โ€ ๐Ÿค— . This can be difficult when we're angry or hurting, but it really is essential if we want to create lasting change that people agree with & support. ๐Ÿ„ In fact, sometimes that's how we find our biggest cheerleaders. ๐Ÿ˜‰
If you've been following me for a month or two, yo If you've been following me for a month or two, you may know my family will be relocating soon. ๐Ÿ“ฆ The comment above is what my twice-exceptional (2e) fourth grader's gifted educator told me Friday. ๐Ÿ˜ . This comes as no surprise to me. 2e kids are always hard to figure out because they're outside the norm in almost every way possible. ๐Ÿคฏ Intellectually, they have very high abilities; in other ways, they lag behind their peers โ€“ often significantly. And in most cases, only one side tends to stand out to people. ๐Ÿค” For my son, it's the area in which he struggles. It's so glaring that, even with crazy high STAR scores, no one suspected giftedness. ๐Ÿ˜ฅ . The lack of awareness around 2e kiddos must change. ๐Ÿ” If you're an educator or psychologist, & you want to know how to identify them, I highly recommend listening to Episode 44 of @mindmatterspodcast, featuring Megan Foley-Nicpon, PhD. ๐Ÿ“ป It's a great conversation that explains the challenges, considerations & best practices for assessments. ๐Ÿง
My sonโ€™s homeroom teacher sent me this bookmark My sonโ€™s homeroom teacher sent me this bookmark for Motherโ€™s Day. It was unexpected & so touching. ๐Ÿ˜ญ . She may not have understood my twice-exceptional (2e) sonโ€™s needs in August, but she sure does now. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ You see, I didnโ€™t want to be a helicopter parent ๐Ÿš & I mistakenly assumed that sheโ€™d be informed of my sonโ€™s anxiety via his IEP, the school psychologist or his gifted educator. To say that things were a mess by September would be an understatement. ๐Ÿ˜ฃ (Largely because of bullying when adults werenโ€™t looking.) ๐Ÿ‘Š . However, once I told my son's teachers about the distressing signs I was seeing at home, they saw my sonโ€™s behavior for what it really was, & we became a team that quickly changed things around (with the help of a few other key individuals). ๐Ÿค I adore the teacher who sent me this bookmark &, more importantly, she adores my son. ๐Ÿ’• . General education teachers donโ€™t need a special degree to better understand their โ€œgiftedโ€ & 2e students. ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿซ Being familiar with these kidsโ€™ overexcitabilities, their asynchrony (sometimes in both directions, esp. if theyโ€™re 2e), & the interplay between these two phenomena, can go a long way โ€” especially from a social-emotional perspective. ๐Ÿ›ฃ๏ธ Do they need to be challenged academically? Absolutely! ๐Ÿ’ฏ. Intellectual intensity one of the five overexcitabilities. However, because of the way these kids' brains are wired, they tend to be intense in other ways, too. ๐Ÿ˜… . Thank you, educators, everywhere who never give up on trying to help their struggling & misunderstood students, regardless of what makes them โ€œdifferent.โ€ ๐Ÿ˜˜
Self-regulation, executive functions & social smar Self-regulation, executive functions & social smarts are intertwined. Itโ€™s difficult to talk about one without considering the others. ๐Ÿค” Thatโ€™s why Leah Kuypers, M.Ed., includes elements of the Social Thinking Methodologyยฎ in her @zonesofregulation curriculum. And itโ€™s the reason sheโ€™ll talk about best practices & common misconceptions @socialthinking's annual conference in June. ๐Ÿคฉ Itโ€™s also why other conference topics include: ~ ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฝ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ด๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ถ๐˜‡๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ธ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด (via executive functions) ๐—ณ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—บ ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐˜† ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ด๐—ต ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐˜†๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐˜€, with developmental behavioral pediatrician Damon Korb, M.D., FAAP ๐Ÿ‘จโ€โš•๏ธ ~ the ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—น๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐˜‚๐˜๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐˜‚๐—ป๐—ฐ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€ (such as self-regulation & perspective-taking) ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐˜๐—ฟ๐˜†๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐—ธ๐—ฒ & ๐—ธ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ฝ ๐—ณ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐˜€๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ฝ๐˜€ ๐Ÿค— ~ ๐—ต๐—ผ๐˜„ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ต ๐—ฆ๐—ผ๐—ฐ๐—ถ๐—ฎ๐—น ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ธ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ด๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐˜€ at home & through tele-education ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿซ ~ ๐Ÿฑ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐˜†๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ต ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐˜๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ-๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ธ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด & ๐—ฝ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—ฏ๐—น๐—ฒ๐—บ-๐˜€๐—ผ๐—น๐˜ƒ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด: around the dinner table, in the car, during teaching time, in virtual groups, & with siblings ๐Ÿ™Œ Continuing education (CE) credits will be available for those who qualify. โœ… For more details & how to register, read my story about Leahโ€™s presentation. (link in bio) ๐Ÿ–ฑ๏ธ
What has ๐—Ÿ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ต ๐—ž๐˜‚๐˜†๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ What has ๐—Ÿ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ต ๐—ž๐˜‚๐˜†๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€, ๐— .๐—˜๐—ฑ., learned since publishing her top-selling curriculum? ๐Ÿคท A lot, actually! And she wants to tell you about it. ๐Ÿ˜Š ~ Watch her ๐—™๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฑ๐—ฎ๐˜†, ๐—๐˜‚๐—ป๐—ฒ ๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฒ, ๐—ธ๐—ฒ๐˜†๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ต for best practices & common misconceptions. Itโ€™s a live-stream event, so you'll also have the opportunity to ask her questions. ๐ŸŽ‰ ~ For more details about Leah's speech & other presentation topics, read my story about the ๐—ฆ๐—ผ๐—ฐ๐—ถ๐—ฎ๐—น ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ธ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฃ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ถ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€' ๐—–๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ. (link in bio) ๐Ÿ–ฑ๏ธ ~ ๐—Ÿ๐—ถ๐—ธ๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—œ'๐—บ ๐˜€๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด? ๐Ÿ’• ~ โžก Tag a friend in the comments (or send it to her/him) โžก Share this post as part of your Instagram story โžก Follow me @kitekidmama
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